And as I write that sentence, I feel tears welling up, blurring my current view, which is a street in the city of Nazareth.  Yeah, you read that right.  I’m in Israel.  Not for work this time, but because I have days off.  Always somewhere, for work and play.

The Dead Sea


That’s The Dead Sea

You also read that other part right.  The part when I mentioned I don’t want to fly anymore.  How could that be?  “Kara- you love your flight attendant life!”  Yeah.  Yeah I do, and that’s partly why I am crying.  The realization that maybe I’m not as happy as I thought I was in this flying life snuck up on me.  I feel myself fighting the acknowledgement with every tear that slides softly down my pale, rose dusted cheeks.  The idea that there is more that I want to do and be and see came to me when I found myself in Portugal, in a place that made me feel like I was on top, and at the edge of the world.

Sintra Portugal


It happened when I opened the shutters and looked out from balcony of a quaint boutique hotel that had views of the entire city of Lisbon.  It tickled my consciousness as I stared in a complete trance at a Palestinian guard and walked along a wall that exists to separate nationalities.  I noticed the want to let go of something I have loved for so long while I was taught to make hummus, floated in the Dead Sea, and walked among the ruins in Caesarea.


making hummus


Being in Lisbon and Israel has made it undeniably clear that I haven’t been this happy in awhile.  I have been happy while traveling, insanely so.  I am here, doing this travel thing, this blogging thing, and this adventuring thing, not because I am a flight attendant, but because I have somehow been building my dreams into realities.  Right now, I’m traveling, and yet, I’m not getting written up by coworkers.  I’m traveling, and yet, my schedule is not being dictated to me without a choice or control.  I have been so much more peaceful. I am smiling and laughing.  My stress level is almost non-existant.  I am engaged and excited.  I am not jet lagged.  The weird part about all of this though is that I thought I was so happy being a flight attendant.  So happy.  And, I didn’t even know I was unhappy until I was given a chance to see something else for a minute. Maybe happy for me could mean a slower, and yet, still adventurous existence.

Sintra Castle

Happy in Sintra, Portugal

But, I don’t want to be done with flying- not now, not yet.  This is the only “career” I have known.  My ENTIRE life is built around the aviation lifestyle, let alone this blog exists because of it.  And although the blog doesn’t require that I fly, the site definitely benefits from my current employment, both from the aspect of story as well as the monetary piece.  I can’t live off of freelance writing and blogging yet.  I don’t know how to take that step and walk away from the career, even if only for a few months.  Where would I go?  What do I do?  How would my life be?  What if I was too stationary? Funny how I fear “staying put…”


I’ve been crying through every sentence that I have typed in this blog.  I feel like one does when faced with a relationship breakup.  I am one part of a relationship that has been beautiful and wonderful for years; full of love.  I have loved destinations.  I have loved people.  I have loved best friends.  I have had so much.  It’s hard to give up when there is so much to give up.  This is the type of relationship that is expected to last forever.  Forever.  But then forever isn’t working exactly.  Growing up happens.  Changing and learning and a realization that the relationship doesn’t fit as well as it once did.  For me, this makes me question my aviation relationship, like one would in a romantic relationship, “Did I outgrow flying?”

And maybe I have outgrown flying.  Maybe just for now and not forever.  Maybe forever.  There are so many ways to live the flight attendant life.  It could just be that the way I have been going at it for the last year needs to be shifted and adjusted in some way.  I don’t know what that means or what that looks like.  Hell, I don’t know what any of this means.  I just feel happy to be in Israel and struck by the thought that there are other opportunities that might fit better for the goals that I have for myself.  I know what I want for “my perfect world.”  I just don’t know right now if I believe that I can achieve it.  And unfortunately, right now, my perfect world of achieving all of my goals and dreams doesn’t have me donning the flight attendant uniform.

Flight attendant uniform

That idea of no more me paired with a uniform has me almost so terrified that I can’t breath.  For just under six years, my life has been dictated by bid lines, airplane schedules, and flight routes.  I went from being a shy, little girl who needed medication to find her happiness; to a vibrant, excited, purposeful woman who went to see the world.  I somehow fell into an amazing and wonderful world that embraced me and showed me more than I ever imagined existed.  I became more than I ever thought possible, discovering a confidence and sense of purpose that I had never experienced.  Travel changed me.  I fell in and out of love. I saw places and met people and had opportunities that most people never get.  I built this blog, and truly, it has been my heart and soul, and has taken me places as well.

Abraham Tours Tourist Israel


With The Everyday Jumpseater and Abraham Tours  in Israel

Baby blog is a big reason why I switched airlines, and now baby blog, my interest in writing, and entrepreneurial dreams have brought me here; to the place where I question, “Do I really want to fly right now? Is flying where my heart is, or is it just happen to be where my paycheck deposit come from?”  I love flying, and I will always love flying, but there’s a strange truth about love:

Just because you love, that doesn’t mean all loves are supposed to last forever.   But, the truth is- letting go is scary, heartbreak can be hell, and goodbyes are never easy.

I’m writing this as I’m “in it.”  So don’t worry too much about what will happen.  I’ll find my answers.  Answers always show up.  I will pray that I can find and hold on to the courage to face the next step with a spirit of acceptance and gratitude regardless of what the outcome may be.

I’ll pray that for you too…


 life is full of steps 

About the Author

Hello, I’m K. J. Watts, but my friends call me Kara. I fell into the sky and have worked as International cabin crew, on private jets as a corporate flight attendant, and earned an FAA Private Pilot Certificate. Over a decade ago, I started this blog, which developed into a love for writing and a debut memoir based on Flight Attendant Life. A California native, I now live in Sydney, Australia, where I enjoy spending time with my husband, writing, and surfing.

  1. Hang in there! These are important and incredibly challenging questions we all grapple with, and you’re not alone. Enjoy your vacation and best of luck finding your next step. I love reading your blog, Kara! Rock on!

  2. this post hit so close to home. I’ve been a flight attendant for 2 short years and although the good days definitely outnumber the bad ones, I can’t help but feel like I need more. I have not visited many places due to the fact that I work for a domestic airline and first year pay/schedule weren’t exactly supportive of a jetset life, but I don’t wish to see the world on a jet lagged layover. I much like you want more, but cannot decide the next step despite my love of flying. Thank you for writing this.

    1. It’s a scary/unknown place to be emotionally; not knowing what to do next. I have found some clarity over the past week, but still, I don’t know what I will do next. I know I will miss flying if I leave. Thanks for reading and commenting:)

  3. Oh, I’ve been there!
    I think many of us have been.
    You think about quitting and moving on to another adventure in your life, but then realize afterwards (either through actually quitting or being “laid-off indefinitely”) that you miss flying incredibly and would give anything to get back into it.

    1. That has been the story I have heard every time from all that have “been there” before me. I just need to adjust my flight attendant life a bit

  4. Just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. I think the greatest blessing of this job is also it’s greatest curse. We escape our “bubble” to go out into this incredible world. Then one day the almost horrible realization hits that it would be so much more fulfilling to stay in this place or that place for longer than 24 or 48 hours. I have learned so much about myself and the world in general through flying. I’ve also learned that there is so much more out there that I can only dream of experiencing. This blog has been a major source of inspiration for me and I hope you are able to find what you truly want/need from this “soul search”.

    1. Thank you so much Steve for your comment. Life is definitely always changing. I’m glad you have found the blog useful in your own journey. That makes me feel like I do have a place:)

  5. Having been a long haul flight attendant for 17 yrs, with no original intention to do anything of the sort, your blog actually annoyed me beyond belief! I’d be interested to see who you worked for, your upbringing etc. I’m working class, from Glasgow, with a maths and econmics degree and although I love my colleagues and will miss them so much, I’m ready to stop flying.
    This whole nonsense boring self indulgent blog you blabbed….completely unnecessary!! That’s what diarys are for!!

    1. I would just like to point out that the literal definition from the dictionary of “Blog,” is an “online diary; thoughts published to the web.” I also have a degree, and the self-indulgent blog that you refer is turning into a profitable business. So, if you think that I am lazy or that this platform is unnecessary, just ask my Careers Editor who became a flight attendant partly through my encouragement. Or ask my Destinations Editor who just got to go to Israel with me because of this blog. She didn’t pay for most expenses. Or, ask the other people who have identified with the things that I have been said here. Yes, the content is not for everyone, but I will not apologize for my thoughts. If you don’t like it, don’t read it.

      1. haters will hate, any time you get successful… especially as a blogger. Keep it up. Have tough skin, and you do, too. But I can totally relate! If they don’t like it, don’t read it = jealousy

      2. Hi Kara, I stumbled upon your blog. And I love it! It’s been very helpful to me. And I think you have a very genuine voice, and one that I can relate to. I’m a working writer. Mainly screenplays. I have my first book being published next year. I love writing. Although the business side can be “tough” and as a writer, sometimes writers have to have another “job.” I’m considering flying the friendly skies and I’m about to do a video interview for an airline that I travel on frequently and that I’m a big fan of. I felt compelled to comment because that gentleman clearly missed the point of your post. Anyway, I’m glad I stumbled upon your blog. Very insightful, interesting and enjoyable reads! Cheers, CG

  6. Keep it up! I’m an entrepreneur and blogger first, got a part time airline (not FA) job a little over 2 years ago now, love the travel and the experiences. Just found your blog but wonder why you mention you pursued a different airline over the big guys, ie.. Delta, United as an FA? I’m considering moving from on the ground to IFS if I can……. and should. Is your airline more flexible with time off etc as opposed to the big ones? What are the main differences? Why wouldn’t you work for Delta/AA/United, etc? Thanks!

  7. Where would I go? What do I do? How would my life be? What if I was too stationary?
    Somehow stumbled onto your blog…Check out for a bunch of people doing the slow (or fast) travel lifestyle while living off of a laptop. Anyway, good luck!

  8. Your blog entry made me cry. I hope you figured it out. I’m exactly where you were right now. I used to have more fun though and took the job to survive the recession. But I feel so lonely and just don’t know what to do.

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