Since I have been a flight attendant, I haven’t dated- at least seriously, or long-ly. Yes, I know that is not a word, but for this, it best describes how I struggle with getting past the first or third date. Most of the reason being that I’m like, “Hey, you’re cool. Let’s hangout again. Oh, wait. I’m leaving tomorrow. Yeah. Not gonna be back for…um…I don’t know when I’ll be back.” This scenario is about as familiar as my trend with moving. It’s frustrating for me. I often feel like I have failed somewhere. There are the moments that appear when I wish and want to stay. Be. Have a sense of normalcy. But then, I take-off in California and land in Copenhagen, within the time frame of one-day. This amazes me. My heart is happy in movement– in the adventure, and I know, it’s not something that I will release easily. As always, adventure changes, one grows, and what once caused so much joy can be replaced by other experiences. Sometimes those experiences are in the form of relationships as opposed to destinations.
With a flight attendant, or at least with me, dating becomes this ridiculous balance of where will she be, what timezone is she in, and when will I see her again? The answers are confusing, and the process probably exhausting. I tell ‘normal people’ not to date me. I tell ‘normal people’ not to date flight attendants. I would say the benefits, and not just flight wise trump the negatives. We flight attendants are some of the most fun, open minded, inquisitive, and interesting individuals you may ever meet. We don’t live boring lives. We are gifted a lifestyle that lets us experience so much in so little time. The stories will make you laugh. Our wanderlust will influence you. You will wonder why you ever decided to get a “real job.” You will find a relationship with a flight attendant to be an adventure in its own right, an adventure you must be 100 percent invested in. You must be ready for any surprise.
When one tells me, “I don’t care where I am, as long as I am with you,” I balk. Slightly. That statement means that you will spend most of your time on an airplane as well. Like me, you won’t be able to remember if you are at Oslo Gardermoen, or Stockholm Arlanda. And it’s 3 am, and you can’t sleep. Again. Anywhere with you is where I want to be you say. Well, anywhere with me is nowhere and everywhere all at the same time. Always. You are the one that must deal with my emotions that lack of sleep and exhaustion bring. It’s often in the form of tears. Then there are the tears of missing; missing you. You may feel responsible for the sad, but you are not. It’s the stupid job. The stupid job that takes away any control I crave. The stupid job that I love. The stupid job that I hate. The employment that simultaneously makes and breaks my life.
The distance- the damn distance. Because with a flight attendant, distance is nothing and then it also happens to be everything. Distance doesn’t disappear. Here today, gone tomorrow: That is me. You and your flight attendant learn together, that patience, and acceptance are strings that must be present to hold you together, and that those strings must grow into strong cords, held in place by the superglue of trust. I’m learning what it’s like to be a flight attendant dating. It is an adventure. It makes me so happy, and so heartbroken in one breath to the next. I think it takes a very incredible person to want to take on the adventure of dating a flight attendant, and date this flight attendant- me. My life is more than only my airplane job, but includes my ridiculously consuming ambition. To date me, or to date anyone means accepting faults, distractions, or focus. Realizing that I find much happiness in dreaming, and letting me dream is the only way to be seen in the midst. My heart should never be clipped of the desire to ‘fly.’ I understand my value and know my worth. I know love and dating with this lifestyle is not easy. Not much in life that is actually valued was ever gained easily. If it was, it would not be valued so much.
If you are dating a flight attendant, value that. If you are a flight attendant dating, value your date. If you are dating me, no guarantees, except that it’s always gonna be an adventure…and thank you.
Curious. Bubbly. Creative. Curating a life I don't need an escape from and inspiring you to do the same.
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