I’m awaiting the test results from a COVID test. The testing facility promised 2-4 days. Now we are pushing 5-7 without news, a reminder that even the smallest tasks are difficult to complete since life introduced us to a new (and wild) ‘normal.’ If there is one emotion this year has introduced me to it is frustration.
I am frustrated, an emotion that carries me between feeling stuck and powerful; sad and hopeful. I compare myself to last summer and who I was then. The carefree freedom of riding my bike, going to the gym, and surfing without fear that the beaches would close tomorrow. I compare myself to who I was then and how much I weighed. What I looked like and the income I earned. How work was different. How going anywhere was different than it is now. That’s when the sadness creeps in. Comparison will always introduce you to sadness, whether you compare yourself to yourself or to someone else.
Comparison is riddled in toxicity, teasing that you are ‘not enough’ and lying that “life was better” when or “you will be happy if.” It’s a natural human tendency to look back to a certain point in time and remember the good things about that season, forgetting the bad. Although I miss last year, if I’m completely truthful, I’m healthier now. Mind, body, and spirit. If I’m truthful, it’s my ego that has taken a blow. If I’m truthful, I know I wouldn’t, and couldn’t, erase this challenging year. These painful and uncertain times have been equally infused with love and light, hope and beauty. If this year didn’t happen, I would have never met another part of myself or developed a new path.
When it comes to this blog and website, I don’t know what I will do with it. I feel a disconnect to Flight Attendant Life. I’ve reached a place where I know I work as a flight attendant for the money and no longer for the experience. Let this be a lesson to anyone in their prime and power to embrace the adventure of Flight Attendant Life fully. When you love to fly, to be a commercial or corporate flight attendant, that is the most beautiful of all places to be. Love it and learn from it. For, as things always do, “This too shall pass.”
The challenge of this year will pass. The fear of sickness will pass. The quiet rhythm of your days at home will pass. The joys will pass, too. These moments will be replaced by new experiences. You will arrive at places and champion a purpose that you never thought would be your story. This is not the end of everything, and you are not cancelled. Your life is not cancelled. Your story has not ended.
I can’t promise your life results will return in the way that you hope or in the time-frame you expect, but you will see that when the dust of uncertainty, frustration, and fear settle, you were always exactly where God guided you to be. This is your moment. Not the past, not the future. You are not lost. You are not lacking. You are loved.
Curious. Bubbly. Creative. Curating a life I don't need an escape from and inspiring you to do the same.
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