There is a common response when you take a new job, leave an old one, or do something different. Others shower you with “Congratulations.’ What’s interesting is that, although the transition is most likely exciting and a choice made for valid reasons, ‘congratulations’ doesn’t always feel like the most appropriate response. I mean, I left my job as an International Cabin Crew member on a Dreamliner— being in Europe every other week— to work minimum wage and drive three hours in traffic a day. And, I was treated like I knew shit. This opportunity did NOT feel like a step forward but more like I had stepped myself straight into hell. I had moved on, supposedly forward, but nothing about my choice to work on private jets instead of in commercial aviation felt like it would pay off. Wishing me Congratulations made me want to laugh in your face. And then cry.
Had this really been a good idea?
It took over two years from the point that I made my decision to “move on” to the place where I knew and believed that moving on had been a good idea. Two years! And that’s not even that long when you think about it. The tough moments I faced make me very appreciative of my career and lifestyle now. I also built confidence in my abilities to handle setbacks and living outside of my comfort zone. This helps when I consider my future choices to “move on.” Moving on is still hard though. I still am scared.
Moving on is tough. It’s never black and white; cut or dry. You hope for new opportunities for certain reasons and yet, appreciate what you have now for others. Wanting to move on to new relationships, new jobs, or make a life change doesn’t mean that letting go will not hurt you. Congratulations forgets to recognize that there was and is good in what you have now. Moving on doesn’t mean that you will not have moments of ‘regret’ or question if you made the best decision, but if moving on is in your mind— you must entertain that. You need to acknowledge that.
You can’t simply stay because you are scared of what’s next. I think we all are more scared than we would like to admit. I’m fucking terrified most of the time. Ha. Yes. True story. I promise you though, stepping into something new could be the very thing that you have been asking and praying for. Please don’t self-sabotage your future self. You will know when you are ready to walk away. Realize that walking away doesn’t come without doubt. It’s easier to stay in what’s comfortable, but the person you are becoming is begging for more than comfortable.
Epic lives are NOT built out of comfort.
A few months ago, friends were wishing me congratulations— for landing the best career opportunity of my life up to this point. And you know what I felt? Only anxiety. I knew this was good, but it wasn’t something that I believed fit for long-term (and I’ve always been a little bit terrible at casual relationships). The last few months have felt like a rollercoaster. I find myself constantly questioning what I want for my life. Questioning if I will ever have the courage to (again) make the tough choice to move on IF that is what I ultimately deem as the best outcome. I now understand why we humans become trapped by paychecks, responsibilities, and convenience. I’ve never had such an easy private aviation job. That’s nice after years of straight craziness and an insanely tough schedule. What I have now is like a dream— but it’s not my ultimate dream. Although a sort of heaven and welcome respite, I’m not that happy. I crave my freedom. So, do I move on? Well, this time, I’m waiting. The wait is excruciating sometimes. For me, it just is— neither terrible or wonderful. I’m glad for time to decide while secretly hoping life will just decide for me (not really what I recommend). Live by your destiny, not by default.
In my case, I think I over-hustle and over stress. I just need to be and with my current life space, I finally had a summer. Time. I’m not jet lagged. I’ve never had as much time as I have now. I love it. I’m thankful for it. I’m blessed. And, I’m using this time. I’m using the blessings of what I have now because although it’s not all that I hope for, it’s allowing me options that I would never have otherwise. No opportunity will ever be perfect. Value each for what they are and focus on the beauty that they bring into your life; NOT the pain. Because one day, you will move on, and I guarantee that you will have moments when you look back and wish you had that season back. But this season you are in now— this is the one that you asked for and the one that you wanted. Embrace it and live it. It’s not always going to be this much of a challenge. It won’t always feel so uncertain. And if it’s not a challenge and just a nice refreshing existence for now, love that. Allow life to just coast for a change.
I know this blog is short, but please— wherever you are moving on to next— take this with you:
YOU ARE BRAVE ENOUGH TO MOVE ON.
You are strong enough to stay.
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