I don’t know how old you are….or who you are beyond being a FA….but I think what you are describing is depression. So my guess is that you have been so busy working toward this singular goal, got it, and now regret it, while issues you may have had continued to be in your suitcase the whole time. Just a guess. I don’t think you’ll be let go if anyone sees this from your employer…because depression is an illness and it would be discriminatory to say the least. Have you ever slowed down long enough to figure out what it is you really want to do? Would you rather a position on the ground, in one place you could call home? Are you just burned out? Would you consider some counseling to help sort things out? I do not think you are alone…no matter what career path we take, I think it is few among us who are truly happy all the time. I went into social work over 25 years ago. With older adults. Many of them are wonderful; many days I know my organization is making a positive difference in someone’s life…but still I am at a point where often I feel like I have had enough…and I look forward most to coming home. But one reaches an age where they simply can’t quit. There are responsibilities, bills that must be paid to keep us going and keep a roof over our heads and food in our tummies and our pup’s tummy too. And we need a car to get to work…I don’t know how we go on…but we do. If it matters any, I have the utmost respect for you that work in the cabin. I know how hard you work; I know how people have changed over time and are rude and disrespectful and many are slobs. I know your work is harder than people give you credit for and sometimes that includes your own airline. I suspect if not for FAA regulations airlines wouldn’t hesitate to cut crew…Please take care of yourself and know that others care about you. When I see a plane overhead I always look and I will send good thoughts your way in case you’re flying over CLE. Sending hugs.
Maybe all you need is a break. Some time off to find your center again and recoup. I am going through something similar, maybe not as jet-setting as yours, but I have been living in China for almost 8 years and my rosy glasses are shattered. I feel exhausted, lost my patience, and I am so weary of being the odd (wo)man out.
But it is tough and scary to take a break. I had to take semi one because I was laid off by the end of march, and now I have a job and I am not entirely happy with it but its a paycheck. And I keep telling myself that I should hold on for a bit longer while I keep trying to figure out what I want to do next.
So– hang in there, try to enjoy, take a break. No one will judge! Be kind to yourself
Right there with you girl. I’m feeling that way about being a flight attendant lately and the guilt is unreal. If i leave my family doesn’t get the benefits anymore, will i regret not being able to go wherever I want when I want? When in reality I know it’s not really whenever I want because we’re saddled with exhausting schedules and after awhile just want to be home in our free time which removes the one real perk this job offers-being able to be anywhere else. I hope the private life fares better for you!
Hey girly, I’ve been reading so many of your posts lately, especially the ones like this. I’m a flight attendant for a major, if not THE major Middle Eastern airline. I can tell you with my heart of hearts that you are not alone with these feelings. I live a life that a million girls drram of, and all I want to do is go home. I miss my mom, my boyfriend and my puppy. Dinner in Rome, lunch in Sydney, breakfast in Tokyo, I’d trade it all for a McDonald’s in my hometown. But for financial reasons I can’t just go home. But I feel your pain, and I underatand. Rather it be money, blogging, status quo (I live for this one) it’s important to think about you and your happiness. All good things must come to an end. It allows the new good things to come in right? Good luck to you, and maybe we will meet one day in the skys!
Kara, I wish I can just give you a hug! Don’t feel guilty for how you feel. You have the right to feel and how we feel can always change throughout our lives. Maybe you’ve done your time and it is time to have a “normal” life and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. A job does not define you and you are not obligated to devote your time to something that you no longer enjoy as much as before. I hope and wish you feel peace and freedom soon.
Happened into your blog. Amazing. I also want to hug you!
Since you left the airline. I am hoping it is ok to ask you: Did you have a place to call home? Did the company give you an apartment or housing for your belongings? For yourself? I know you are gone on the job often, but those “three days back at home” do those exhist? A constant location with pictures of loved ones, your fav shampoo and maybe a pet? Also, FA is so well paying, but you mentioned being broke. Do you have to use up all of your earnings because of company policy and demands? It that a fine print that gets people?
I ask in all seriousness. I am naïve to that life you had. I am also so curious while on my search, but I am feeling drawn to this career for the financial reasons, security, benifits, perks, and because it seems like a blast!
I felt every word you wrote, you are a great writer. I love to write, and want to make music. The entertainment industry seems parallel to the ups and downs of FA life.
To be honnest, I have expierenced so many highs and lows. Deperession that creeps in because of the polarity in me too.
I want my life passion without the loneliness, I want a family, but also financial stability and excitement. Regular sceduals make me cringe.
I would love stability without staleness too. Maybe these days being a human, woman, in 2016 Is overwhelming and unfulfilling. Everything has to shimmer to be sold to us, so distractions become the very thing we seek out of habbit. In our humanity, we won’t be satisfied with a constant. Even though the only constant is change. So we are left wondering what we do since we always change. There is no cure for change, only inner contentment. Life will always have it’s fine-print terms and conditions, no matter what page we sign, in our monumentous choices.
I hope you obtain the contentment that we all search for!
I have been following your blog for quite some time now and it breaks my heart to read this…I was hoping you would get a second wind or have your strength rejuvenated. Are you leaving for good? 🙁 I am actually waiting for my final interview with an airline this Tuesday and your blog has inspired me and has opened my eyes as well, so for that, thank you. <3