Over-scheduled, Under-Inspired, And Being Momentarily Ok With That

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For three months straight, I had full freedom with my schedule. No one could tell me when I had to go, when I could or could not sleep or that I had to stay in Florida. I lived in LA and found a more centered version of myself again. Even if it was only a moment of settled, I knew that rest and a slower pace was what I needed and even on the hard days, I appreciated the precious time to ‘be.’ Because time like this doesn’t come around that often. Flight attendant life has this way of taking you so quickly that you often forget to simply be. 

Back to flying happened in it’s typical predictably unpredictable way: immediately and suddenly.  My five day trip starting on the 15th turned into a fifteen day trip beginning on the 5th and the rescheduling happened in last minute airline fashion. I found it, in its inconvenience, to be a bit of a miracle as I began out of LAX instead of FLL.  Sometimes what we see as the biggest inconveniences result as the best unexpected blessings.  The pairing has me bouncing all over the globe to places where my dearest friends happen to be and returns me twice during the two weeks to my California home.  I can definitely live with that.

My New York Layover with my besties

As much as my physical self is globetrotting, my mind is dizzy in its own whirlwind. My thoughts are of constant wonderings and in moments like this, it’s when I know that I need to write. And I want to write, but I don’t know where to start or where to go or what you or I need to hear.  Maybe I don’t know where to start because I have so many things started. I know I am over-scheduled. I find myself under-inspired with this blog. I’m tired of it right now. My writing has developed parameters as the blog becomes more of what I always intended it to be; profitable and successful. I need to write about HeyLets and Yonderbound, but this– this editorial calendar is demanding and at times obnoxious. I’m not upset, but find myself perfectly ok with it. Because I know I was never intended to do it all and be it all and have everything always all figured out. And as important as ‘The Flight Attendant Life’ is to me and hopefully to you also, let’s be honest-it is neither one of our first priorities.

I find my priorities falling into flying, freelance contracts, and friendships. I know that I am over-scheduled and I want to be inspired to write, but I’m happy right now. Truly, genuinely happy, so I’m just going to go with that and how life is showing up at the moment. I am more happy than I have been in awhile. More purposeful than I have ever felt, and simultaneously completely uncertain about the future- my future.

Maybe telling you about how I feel and what other stuff that is going on behind the scenes doesn’t have a place in the blog, but I don’t know where else to tell you.  This is how we got started together right? Me telling you what my life and what this life was like. What I was like and who I was. I hope you don’t mind if it’s not always flying, travel, or adventures. I hope sometimes you’re ok if it’s just me.

And hopefully you’re ok if I tell you I like this guy and I don’t know if it’s going to work out, but I really want it to. I hope you’re ok with finding out I’m between living arrangements again, and I don’t know what will be or where I will be. And you’re ok with the fact that I might not have called you back, not because I don’t care, but because I had five articles to write and 11 social media accounts to manage between jet lag and flying. Don’t worry though. I’m not overwhelmed. I’m just sorting things out that’s all. We all have sorting days. 

The sorting fits a place in our personal stories as each chapter of our lives demands us to learn something and hopefully prepares us for a bigger something, a different something, a more impactful something. In the silence of uncertainty and the season of waiting you may grow the roots that will keep you grounded when most needed.  I have discovered that even in uncertainty you can also be truly and genuinely happy. I’m happy, albeit very jet lagged and two days late with this blog post, but whatever. Life kept going and so will you and so will I.  Sleepy interferes with writing though and coffee is not going to save me although I certainly make a valiant attempt at letting it try…

Thanks to each and everyone of you for letting me be me here. 

XOXO,

Kara