I have a friend who I very much respect and admire. She’s excellent at her job, been a support in prayer and faith for many, and mentored me into some incredible opportunities. Never have I met someone who works so hard and flies so much. When I ask how she keeps up this pace, she tells me, “I fly for my sanity.” I shake my head in wonderment. If only I felt that…
I do feel a solace in the rhythm of packing and unpacking. Jet lagged mornings and exhausted evenings. The constant rotation of hotel numbers that threaten to prove that I may be dyslexic after all. “Was it 4-2-7 or 4-7-2?” Whatever. Can you just look it up by last name?”
I’ve spent over ninety nights in hotel rooms this year. Three plus of the last twelve months away from the place I call home. This isn’t forced. This is by choice. I love what I have the privilege of doing and (in theory) make my own schedule. Another plus is that being constantly on a private jet, or away, pays really, really well. But, the goal was never to be a one-dimensional flight attendant where this is my entire life. I think most flight attendants and pilots enjoy the career because it allows for more outside of flying. There are times though that become all consuming. Like, holidays. Like, whenever you make plans they get ruined by scheduling. Like, when your significant other just can’t handle you being away.
I don’t want to live my life away. Really, truly. How do you find a balance between a typical Monday that takes you all over the world and building something more outside of that? More solid. More boring. More normal? I think my sanity comes from everything that flying has helped me discover. By becoming a flight attendant I found myself, my soul, my voice, my dreams, my intentions, my faith, my fears, my purpose, my writing, my passions. I think this is where my sanity is built. In everything that flying explores and uncovers. I love that.
Then there are the times that my schedule takes over. I get into a whirlwind with flying; never saying no to trips. Working myself so hard till I get sick. I become overworked, overstressed, and overwhelmed. I have no one to blame for that but me. I did want more for myself this holiday, thirty-third birthday, and New Year’s than flying all the time. I’m the girl that parades around the globe and floats on unicorns, reveling with glee in the adventure while secretly wondering if love will always be just beyond reach. I hate that my relationship didn’t make it. I don’t cast blame and won’t admit faults but if I did do one thing, I worked a lot. And, if I had to do one thing all over again, I would work a lot again.
Because it won’t always be like this. I won’t always have this opportunity or be actually getting calls as a private jet flight attendant. I won’t always feel quite bummed over a breakup right before Christmas. It won’t always be like this— so enjoy each challenge and blessing for what it is.
And, as much as I crave being home, I live for the story of being away. I’m telling you, ‘Flight Attendant Life’ is very addicting. Watch yo self.
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