Here are five sure-ways to annoy flight attendants. Try any one of these on your next flight, or to be truly unforgettable, try all five. You will easily make a flight attendant’s personal no fly list, and also be the conversation topic in the galley, which usually begins with, “Oh my goodness!!! There is this passenger in row…”
1. Ring the flight attendant call button for trash.
Extra annoying points: Ring the FA button IMMEDIATELY after a flight attendant has just walked through the cabin, and is now sitting down, or busy with another task. Hand the flight attendant your empty soda can and wait for the reaction.
Inflight Tip: Simply be aware of the flow of flight. Along with a flight attendant’s tasks related to safety, there’s service, trash pick-up, service, and trash pick-up. Can you guess what would be next in the sequence? Not rocket science.
2. Place your bag in the overhead bin so that the bag is protruding, there is obviously no way the bin will close, and leave it there.
Extra Stupidity points: Passenger: “There is no room for my bag in this bin.” FA: “The bin across from that one is empty. And both bins to either side have space.” Interesting concept: All bins, in an airplane, arrive at the same destination.
3. Demanding to move to a row that is marked reserved.
True Story: A flight attendant was accosted by a passenger to sit in the row marked reserved, which, on this airline, is generally the first row of seats. The passenger disregarded the flight attendant when told to find another available seat, and proceeded to sit down in one of the reserved seats. Because the first row is a bulkhead, all of the bags had to go into the overhead. The flight attendant, annoyed, but clever, graciously, and politely stowed the passenger’s luggage…in row 37. That would be 36 rows away from where Mr. Passenger uninvitedly chose to sit. Poor kid had to wait until all the other travelers deplaned to retrieve his bag. bwahahahaha….
4. When boarding, act like you are the only person in the world that needs to be on the flight, taking your sweet time finding your seat. Stand in the aisle for an extra couple of minutes while stowing your bag. Maybe even apply some lip gloss and take off your coat for good measure.
5. Almost immediately after take-off, or upon descent, while the flight attendants are already in their jumpseats, get up to use the lav.
This post was initially 10 Ways To Irritate a Flight Attendant, but I’m tired of bitching about inflight annoyances. I deal with them enough at work, and I’m currently on a mini-vacay.
Happy St. Patty’s Day Y’all!
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